Eat a fig, go to hell

Whoah. What happened to make this person so all-fired adamantly opposed to figs? Did he fall out of a fig tree as a child and bonk his noggin, leaving him permanently disfigured? Did his daddy beat him with a fig branch? Did his Aunt Gertrude choke on a fig and croak in the middle of Sunday dinner? Does his family own a date-processing company, and therefore see figs as their main competition in the chewy dried fruit market? Go to godhatesfigs.com to see if you can "fig"ure it out!

By the way, here is a quiz to let you know if you are a little too obsessed with figs. If so, you are not alone. Some people are so fig-centric they even post about them in their blogs! Losers!
By the way, did I mention that I have fresh figs and fig preserves for sale? I also specialize in gourmet fig desserts, such as fig brownies, fig bars, and even fig-cherry cheesecake (product in development). Figalicious!